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Fill the bathtub, light the candles, buy the flowers, steep the tea. Chick flick on. Sugar scrub, DIY face mask, cookie dough, bottles of strawberry-scented, peachy-pink potions perfectly aligned, waiting to participate in the ritual.

Are you not feeling the vibe?

Then keep reading, this article is for you.

Some girls may find all of the above heavenly delightful, which is perfectly fine, by all means. But for a substantial percentage of the girls out there, this is simply not the case, myself included. Even though I enjoy taking care of myself and I have my little daily rituals too, taking a whole day off to pamper myself rarely sounds appealing- more like a waste of time to be honest.

So, how does a tomboy practise self-care?

Here are a few non-girly ideas for the non-girly girls who still want to luxuriate in a proper treat. (Meg Ryan 90’s movies are ok by the way, no-one can resist those, not even us).


Over and over again. It’s such a small action yet so weirdly satisfying and rewarding for some reason. On an average day, we don’t get to listen to that song we are obsessed with, as much as we want to, a.k.a until we get sick of it. We have no reason not to, yet we never do it, I suppose it’s a part of adulting and no one talks about it. So, give it a go and give me a nod in agreement.


Maybe it’s not the most environmentally friendly piece of advice I could give you, but we’ll do something nice, to make up for it, ok? Getting in the car and driving without a specific destination while you let your thoughts flow free, can be truly liberating. It’s almost like a meditative state, where it’s just you and the road that could take you anywhere as long as you keep driving.


For some people attending an event alone sounds scary, but hear me out. Maybe going to a party or some sort of a social gathering would be indeed awkward for many. Going to a concert is completely different though, as you get to experience a rather chaotic situation where you would lose your friends anyway. Freely dance around, no one is watching. Have a care-free moment, sing along, let go of all the tension, listen to every lyric of your favourite song and just do your thing. For me going to concerts alone is an integral part of my job, I don’t even think of it. But, there was a time, when I was self-conscious and hesitant to go. Then I went and my whole mindset changed in an electrifying, bass-charged heartbeat.


Some girls like the “one of the boys” mentality.

Simply co-exist in harmony, cracking jokes, have nachos, wash them down with a pint, super laid back, appreciating a bit of a lad time. Personally, I have been blessed with super cool girlfriends that I would not change for anyone in the world. That does not change the fact that I’ll always be “one of the guys” and I always fancy hanging out with them, in a brotherly manner. You can have and appreciate both. Stereotypes are for the weak.


…is the equivalent of a girly-girls shopping spree. Instead of hitting the mall and your wallet, choose a part of your house or room that would benefit from a good, old fashioned clear out. It could be your wardrobe, the bathroom cabinet, your email inbox, or that box under your bed. In a world full of material and virtual abundance, letting go of what we don’t actually need is empowering.

To motivate yourself, commit to sell your unwanted items to an online platform such as Depop or EBay and use the money to buy pizza and your next concert tickets.

Until then,


  • Angela Tolsma
    Posted at 15:47h, 14 January Reply

    OMG the song on repeat hit me. I am currently doing that right now. Same song head above water. I do so many of these things actually!!

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:52h, 15 January Reply

      Hey Angela! Lovely to hear from you! How is the clutter box going? I’m so glad you can relate, I thought I was the only one!

      • Flossie McCowald
        Posted at 03:36h, 16 January Reply

        OMG you are NOT the only one! Tomboy has never been how I would describe myself, but yes there is something about taking that long to soak in the tub, nice though it would be, that makes me think “oh but I could be doing so many other things with that time”…LIKE DECLUTTERING! Song on repeat, yup, ALL. THE. TIME. when I am road-tripping cross-country by myself (long drive anyone?) (which is harder to do now as a mama, but I still love doing it and sneak it in whenever I can!)

        • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
          Posted at 13:09h, 16 January Reply

          Hey Flossie! I feel the same way, I’d rather enjoy myself doing all sorts of things rather than sit still in a tub! Let’s go for that long drive!!

  • StylishGeek
    Posted at 17:31h, 14 January Reply

    When I was younger I was a bonafide tomboy. I can relate to some of the things tomboys do! Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:49h, 15 January Reply

      Hiya! Thanks for stopping by!

  • Stephanie
    Posted at 20:18h, 14 January Reply

    I have always been such a TomBoy, never a girlie girl. But my best friend is a girlie girl. It’s so funny how that happens. And I totally enjoy all of these things! But combine the two…. let me do a bunch of decluttering/organizing while eating cookie dough and listening to my songs on repeat and I am a happy camper!!

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:49h, 15 January Reply

      exactly! My thoughts exactly! We definitely don’t have to chose one or the other, we can get the best of both worlds Steph! 🙂 It’s good to see you on the Chelfdom!

  • Live Learn Better
    Posted at 01:54h, 15 January Reply

    I absolutely need to declutter and get rid of stuff and hopefully make some money in the process. Going to the concert by myself, I don’t think so 🙂

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:46h, 15 January Reply

      Sounds great! Take what makes sense to you from this list! The point was to inspire all of us to be our true self!

  • Stephanie Stebbins
    Posted at 02:18h, 15 January Reply

    While I do enjoy a pampering bath, I don’t know if I could take a whole day to take one, lol! I used to be not very girly, but as I’ve grown things have changed. I do love a good decluttering, though ZEN!

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:44h, 15 January Reply

      I see what you mean, different parts of our personalities can be super girlie, while others very masculine and tomboyish. I’m definitely like that and proud of it!

  • Morgan Shaw
    Posted at 11:35h, 15 January Reply

    I heard decluttering is actually good for your mental health I love the long drive idea to x

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:42h, 15 January Reply

      It is indeed! It certainly has helped me out a lot during the worst of times!

  • Nicole
    Posted at 17:09h, 15 January Reply

    That moment when you realize you might be a tomboy lol. These are things i would do to relax and unwind… Although im also a huge fan of the fancy baths too.. Sooo maybe im a cross of both lol.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 20:15h, 15 January Reply

      hahhahaah 🙂 I feel ya!

  • Christa
    Posted at 22:03h, 15 January Reply

    I LOVE going to concerts alone! And movies. It really is a self care experience for me.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 13:10h, 16 January Reply


  • Neely Moldovan
    Posted at 01:41h, 16 January Reply

    Well those socks are THE MOST FUN EVER! Also I love going for drives

  • Kayla
    Posted at 01:40h, 17 January Reply

    I am a complete girlie girl, basic, whatever you want to call it. In high school I was still sup r girlier, but I played sports. The song on repeat though is so me. If I find a song I like, I will put that on replay till I move on lol.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr
      Posted at 20:29h, 17 January Reply

      looks like we are all so different yet so the same 😉

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