Written by the_chelf@yahoo.gr

I’ve come to realize that I spend a considerable amount of time trying to rationalize my emotions. Evaluating my thoughts, my day, my relationships, the productivity levels that I solemnly reached, the amount of water I managed to swallow during that day and no, coffee does not count.

I have these little imaginary boxes in my head, perfectly shaped, white, glossy little bloodsuckers, and I try to label and squeeze everything to fit in those boxes which gives me the illusion of being in control.

-That’s not realistic,Chelf, my therapist exclaimed.

-It’s not? What’s wrong with a little alignment Sigmund? A little introspection never killed anyone.

The more you think the more you analyze. Every issue becomes grander, every dilemma more intricate, every detail more and more thought-provoking.

I bet you too have experienced the painful small talk between you and yourself, in the wee hours, when you should have been sleeping instead of being overrun by overwhelming thoughts, things that don’t fit in boxes, embarrassing incidents five years ago. Strange feelings that remained unfilled, in the limbo of your glorious brain along with the friends you’ve lost, the what ifs, the could have beens and Schrödinger’s cat.

At least the cat fit in the box. That much we know..

You blame it on the seventh cup of coffee and scoff at yourself for considering switching to decaf.

Let’s get this straight: It’s never the coffee’s fault. Forget about decaf and take a moment to see why we are so afraid of the things that do not fit in our boxes, like a perfect puzzle. Introspection is an extremely powerful tool but when it leads to perfect alignment it becomes poisonous and instead of shedding some light to your subconscious it turns into a mental torture.

Let’s talk about the obvious: Not everything will fit in our boxes. Oddly shaped thoughts will never interlock with each other, some things will never make perfect sense, you wont always be able to assemble the pieces of others in a way that they’ll fit into your boxes. If life was a puzzle rest assured that there would be quite a few missing pieces and the level of complexity increases as you go.

Now since I’m better at puzzles than giving advice, how about we try something together? Let’s try to give up control and allow things to happen, say for a week. A week to begin with. Maybe we’ll like it and come back for more. Let’s join forces and try not to micro-manage the whole universe for seven days.

And while we are in surrender mode how about an on-line puzzle or a Sudoku game to take our minds off things? I’ve been hooked to these Free Jigsaw Puzzles to unwind when I cannot not sleep, when I need to stop over thinking and see clearly, when I need to stop obsessing over details. Nothing like a good puzzle or a game of Sudoku to help you see the bigger picture. Give it a go and report back in a week?

It’s a game-date..


  1. Stephanie T. says:

    I can definitely relate to this! Its so hard to get your mind to calm down and think of something else when this happens. I would love to stop over thinking.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Easier said than done but the moment we realize that we ‘re on a good start!

  2. Girlllll, jigsaw puzzles are my favorite things to look for whenever we stay at an Airbnb! It’s great to see another perspective on overthinking especially because I wrote about it on my blog today, too. Lol. I know some have it worse than others and that my solutions might not work for others. I really value your insight.

    And you’re right, puzzles don’t really work as an analogy for real life. I like to think of happiness as a cup I fill because it means I am in control of generating my own happiness and not looking for puzzle pieces that others provide for me. Does that make sense? And it’s been working really well! Because it reminds us that know we have an abundant supply of shareable inner peace and happiness 🙂 now THAT is the kind of control I’m trying to maintain.

    Anyway, I apologize for the long reply. Keep up the amazing self-growth! I’m right there with ya 🙂

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Yes, Carol actually it makes perfect sense and I think it’s a wonderful mindeser and a way to see things. Thank you for stopping by!

  3. I can totally relate to you and every word you wrote.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Thank you Corey

  4. Over thinking is self torture for sure! Keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and you just can’t control or label everything. Try to see the lesson in every situation. A puzzle could be a great distraction to clear your mind.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      My nihilistic nature won’t let me believe that everything happens for a reason.And I am totally ok with that. However, I agree that we cannot control or label anything and everything and we should be seeing the lesson in every situation indeed!

  5. My husband always reminds me that I can’t control everything. I’ve always believed that I need to control things to give me peace of mind. I think the effect is opposite. That’s not how life is. Not everything is within the control of our hands. That’s why when things don’t go my way, I become more frustrated. I try to give up control, not all the time though. A little bit of control gives me sanity. lol. I love sudoku!!!

  6. This has so been my weekend. Heard from someone I haven’t seen or heard from in 11 years and they bopped in and out and said a bunch of mean things….leaving me going huh?

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Oh dear! How dare they mess with us! I feel offended on your behalf. Do NOT let them get to you honey, we are better than that. I’m not gonna say more here, please direct message me on facebook and we’ll get to the bottom of this. I’ll put the kettle on.

  7. This really got to me. I’m definitely a control freak when it comes to my emotions.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      same here. And I didn’t even know it was a bad thing until several people pointed it out to me. I don’t know what I would do if it weren’t for you guys!

  8. I am an over-analyzer and it works sometimes, but sometimes it’s detrimental to my day.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      We just gotta keep that semi-balance I suppose. We cant stop analyzing 100%, it would not be benefiacial either way, but we simply have to learn to recognise the triggers and the point where it gets out of control to take a step back.. wishful thinking? Let’s try together.

  9. Mindfullness is something I only recently got into. Letting things go has been tough, but the improvement on my mental state has been great.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      That’s great Sophie! I’m so happy to hear that! Keep up the good work! Sending good vibes your way!

  10. I am a classic over-thinker! And as I read your blog, I was nodding my head yes in agreement with everything you said. I think introspection and perfection go hand in hand most of the time, at least in my world they do. In my world, everything is fixable, except when it isn’t. When it isn’t, I can’t stand the thought of it so I try to piece it all together and make it work. I can see where too much introspection could lead to some unhealthy habits. Thanks for the reminder to just surrender and let it go. Great post!

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Thank you Kristi. After posting this, I see how many people can relate and how many amazing and thoughtful comments I get, at least we know we are not alone <3

  11. very insightful. Never thought about puzzles, but they would definitely be a great mind soother

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      It really works for me Gina. When I get too overwhelmed a little puzzle helps me clear my mind

  12. Trần Quốc Hưng says:

    Dedication and mindfulness is somethings you can never get if you don’t decent with other people! It is such an inspiring posting! Thank you so much!

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Thank you for taking the time to visit the Chelfdom Tran!

  13. Blair Villanueva says:

    In playing jigsaw puzzles, we can’t force ourselves to solve it especially during that moments when we feel stressed and exhausted. Just like our life, we need to reboot and refresh, then return on solving the puzzle and get the exact missing piece.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Perfect analogy Blair! We need to gain some clarity then get back to whatever the puzzle is.

  14. I overanalyze too, I totally get it. I a few years ago I was at my worst, over-thinking everything it made me stressed and anxious. I was able to slow it down and now I don’t find myself stressing out over little things.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      That is great Nadalie! Let us know how you got there!

  15. When something is not right in our lives we want to do something about it. So it seems logical to try and fight the way you feel and spend as much time as you can looking into what can be done to feel well again. But when you’re able to just let it be, you find you are able to stop caring about it and just let it go. However, this might sound easier said than done 🙂

  16. Nacy says:

    Wait! Coffe doesn’t count? Now I have to pause reading this and go mull over just how much water I actually drink. Just kidding ;.) But seriously, I could relate to a lot of what you say. I tend to over-rationalize then swing off the chandeliers to the happy-go-lucky realm. Quite the roller coaster of emotions. But hey! Isnt part of life the mystery of finding balance? You put this so well “If life was a puzzle rest assured that there would be quite a few missing pieces.” It is a puzzle, and we are all trying to figure out which pieces are missing. LOVE I! Life is fun.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      That’s exactly how I reacted when they told me that unspeakable truth about coffee. I went through all the stages, denial, anger, bargain and so on…

  17. You have such a great perspective. Love this. Thank you for the encouraging words….it really made me think.

    • the_chelf@yahoo.gr says:

      Thank you Holly. It’s nice to have each others back.

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