If I tell you to stop thinking of a gold tiger, you’ll probably start thinking of a gold tiger.

Keep reading, it will all make sense later on.

While I’m wearing my gorgeous tiger ring by PERDITI, I’ll sneak in a few thoughts that I’ve been wanting to share with you about fears, bravery, and how to cultivate courage.

 

Being afraid is a healthy way of your instincts telling you to back off.

It keeps you safe in times of danger and it helps you estimate whether you should take the risk or take a step back and utilize your fight or flight response.  If you like your biology hot, as I do, google-search epinephrine (adrenaline) and norepinephrine and see how they work on such occasions.

So, fear is a tool.

And like all tools, it can either kill you or help you fix things.

To push through that fear and rise to each challenge you need to cultivate courage.

So, courage doesn’t mean you have to be fearless.

It means you are brave enough to face your unfounded fears and grab life by the you know what.

 

I don’t care what you are afraid of. And neither should anyone.

No one has a say in what is important to you or not. No matter how ridiculous your specific fears may seem to others, I do not care. Public opinion doesn’t make them less scary or less dominant.

What I do care about is you overpowering your fears.

This is what I call courage.

Yes, I am getting back to the gold tiger.

It’s a common psychology trick. If I tell you not to think of something you will inevitably think of it. And picture it in your head. The human brain works like that.

 Do you see where I am going with this? The more you keep thinking of the things that scare you, the more you will keep picturing the worst-case scenarios and the more vivid those pictures will get. It will become so real that shadows become flesh and fear paralyzes.

Skip that part. Please do. If you sense that your fear is irrational, just skip that part and go do what scares you. 

Are you curious to see what’s on the other side?

Then don’t try not to be afraid.

Acknowledge your fear, estimate it’s legitimacy and pick one of the two options. 

1. If you have valid reasons to be afraid, do not put yourself in danger. Walk away and better be safe than sorry.
2.  If your fear is groundless, confront it right away. Don’t dwell on the potential threats just go do the thing. Calculated risks are ok. Your future success will be fueled by those actions, the decisions that you make today. Otherwise, you’ll get stuck and make no progress in life. 

This is my version of courage.

Let's make it personal.

I’m terrified of intimacy. With very few exceptions (people that have been in my life for more than a decade) I get horror-struck whenever things go well. If we get along I will get scared and want to back off eventually.

This lead me to a life of isolation as I found peace in solitude.

New friendships scare me.

At some point, I faced the fact that this was unhealthy.

I could overthink about it and get a plan of action and calculate the things that could go wrong and the damage control plan A and plan B, perhaps all the way to plan Z.

Fuck, no. 

I dived deep. The people I actually like? I let them in. I went out with them for a pint straight away. Scary? Yes. So what?

I had a couple of panic attacks. Soaking wet on the floor. I survived. 

That’s what makes me braveful.

Not my lack of fear. My abundance of courage. My decision not to overanalyze it anymore. If it goes wrong, I’ll survive. 

Coming back to the tiger. My beloved gold tiger.

A symbol of courage, willpower, and personal strength.

This post was inspired by this ring and was created in collaboration with Perditi. A jewellery brand that I have loved and worked with for years now. 

Minimal, clean lines, dedication to high-quality materials and strong aesthetics.

I already had a thing for gold, now I have a thing for tigers too apparently. 

It reminds me of those milestones, the baby steps and the leaps of faith. All mine, part of my story, no matter what will happen in the future, those will always be mine.

Until the next one,

SHOP MY STYLE:

Song of the post: Shadows become flesh- Mass Infection