In life we tend to repeatedly gravitate towards the same kind of things. Books, music, things we do, eat or talk about. We form patterns because our brains know how to do that effortlessly. And we do the same thing with people.For me, it’s metalheads. I know that chances are we will most likely get along well, we’ll kick-start with a common ground
and if all else fails we’ll surely agree that we both like Motörhead. Safe zone.
But what if you put me in an environment amongst different kinds of people?Outside my comfort zone? As an introvert I’ll probably freak out internally, smile politely and go on a fight or flight mode before I even get to make eye contact with anyone.
That applies to non-business situations only.
Somehow when it comes to business-stuff I know how to get along with most people, be a professional and handle things extremely well. Stupid, unreasonable human brain ha? I know.
A little side not for my newest chelflings who haven’t been following me for a long time here and might not be familiar with my background: I do not socialize easily. I’ve spent most of my life in isolation not feeling the need to get out and meet people. On the bright side this is how I created the Chelfdom and now I have all of you guys, which I consider my extended family. On the other hand I’ve lost all judgement and social skills, and when I felt the need to get out to the real world I did not know how to.
I did not know how to be around my own kind of people,let along everyone else. But I had an intense gut feeling that I should start socializing with different kinds of people no matter how scary or unorthodox that sounded at the moment. I had to start with developmental socialization. Meaning I had to start from scratch. And then as soon as I got comfy with that (laughing out loud) move on to resocialization: the process of rejecting previous behavior patterns and accepting new ones so that one can shift from one part of their life to another. Easier said than done.
I hate small talk. I also hate being hit on.
So how do we do that without the fundamentals, Chelf?
Luckily I came across people who also hated small talk. I came across people who were neither musicians not metalheads but proved to be surprisingly interesting and pleasant to be around. New friends? Time will tell. Some of them already moved on and made other choices, that did not involve me, and that was a part of the learning process as well. Others, still hung around and text me irrelevant inside jokes because apparently that’s what friends do. I do like that.
But the important thing is that I am now able to tell you all these, because I decided not to shut people out.
Yes most of my friends are metalheads,yes most of them are musicians. But I grew past my current level and (semi) voluntarily allowed myself to be exposed to all kinds of people, get out of my shell and look at things differently. I’ve learned a lot about myself as well. Things like how far I can go to meet someone in the middle.
If you surround yourself with similar mindsets you’ll never see things from a different angle.
You’ll get a far better understanding of life if you embrace the option of meeting the polar opposites of you. Different people bring different perspectives,it’s an endless supply of points of views. Some may be upsetting, others interesting or entertaining and you’ll only be able to tell that if you take the step and go converse with these people who you otherwise wouldn’t.
If we are so gender fluid, fashion forward and open-minded how come we only socialize with a certain kind of people? Just give it a go and let me know how it went, sharing is caring and the Chelfdom will always be my and your safe zone to come back to when the outside world gets scary or boring.
This post was created in collaboration with EASE PIECES. I’ve been wearing and loving their jewellery for a long time. I have my ease pieces necklace around my neck to play with when things get awkward.
I wear my statement earrings which are a conversation starter “where did you get these?” to break the ice.
I chose to wear these pieces together in this outfit to make a statement about mismatched concepts working perfectly well together and complimenting each other in a wonderful, unexpected way. Because we can get outside our comfort zone and do what ever we want whenever we feel like it..
There’s a whole magic world outside our comfort zones, waiting to be discovered..Shall we?
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